{"id":4527,"date":"2022-03-04T18:59:02","date_gmt":"2022-03-05T02:59:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/?p=4527"},"modified":"2022-03-04T19:11:24","modified_gmt":"2022-03-05T03:11:24","slug":"amonster-among-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/?p=4527","title":{"rendered":"Amonster Among You"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure><span style=\"color: #666666; font-size: 1.25rem;\">And the devil be naught.<\/span><\/figure>\n<p>As close as I could figure it, \u201camonster among you\u201d was a threat with a heavy and unmistakable Russian accent. A singularly deadly spell. Something, it appears, the devil couldn\u2019t accomplish. Hence, I presume, \u201cthe devil be naught.\u201d All of it was grammatically incorrect. \u201cAmonster\u201d was a noun referring to a beastly creature in a league of its own I take it. And you were dead when it \u201camonged\u201d you. Language butchery was going on I would say. There isn\u2019t much point in dissecting this nonsense any further.<\/p>\n<p>It was a Russian spy disguising with what he thought was idiomatic English. As it turned out, it was idiotic, not idiomatic. And that\u2019s what did him in.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTimber me shivers\u201d is what really started blowing his cover. The moment he said that the deep suspicion set in. It\u2019s the other way around, for starters. Sensing trouble, the Russian tried to claim he was simply testing the opposing spies to see if they\u2019d catch on to the error. The Russian argued he could determine if the other spies were fakes pretending to be Englishmen. But what ended the Russian\u2019s career was the metaphorical malarkey he came up with. He painted a visual of \u201cshivers\u201d as body parts being \u201ctimbered.\u201d Damn fool. He dug the hole deeper with his utter ignorance of the English language.<\/p>\n<p>The counterspies\u2019 action came with blistering speed. In less than half a blink of an eye, well-concealed firearms appeared and the triggers were pulled. The Russian spy, thus, was made no more. The preferred term here, I believe, is \u201cneutralized.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The counterspies, it ought to be pointed out, were thoroughly entertained by the now-deceased Russian\u2019s imagination. It tickled their funny bones. They even laughed a bit while resting their right feet on the dead body and blowing the smoke out of their gun barrels.<\/p>\n<p>Oh well, such is the spying business. It\u2019s death intricately intertwined with hearty humor.<\/p>\n<p>To use the Russian\u2019s creation, amonster amonged him, didn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p>( <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/photos\/WvXPoIKsmOM\">image<\/a> )<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And the devil be naught. As close as I could figure it, \u201camonster among you\u201d was a threat with a heavy and unmistakable Russian accent. A singularly deadly spell. Something, it appears, the devil couldn\u2019t accomplish. Hence, I presume, \u201cthe devil be naught.\u201d All of it was grammatically incorrect. \u201cAmonster\u201d was a noun referring to &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/?p=4527\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Amonster Among You&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4526,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[142,21,172,178],"class_list":["post-4527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-article","tag-death","tag-russia","tag-satire","post_format-post-format-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4527"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4527\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4530,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4527\/revisions\/4530"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4526"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sergeybloom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}